Dead Face of myself

01.12.08

Today visited a friend.

a friend that pass away due to cancer.

although not really close with him.

Or frank speak, i meet him for the 1st and lastime.

I duno him, he also duno me.

But i feel sympathy, that he has to go.

He cant fight it, cant help it.

Maybe God wan him back to heaven asap.

R.I.P

When i saw his face, duno why i saw my own images.

I saw my body lying in the coffin, where everyone sitting around and chatting.

Life is so meaningless.

How sad is it when no 1 really care about you.

Even if you're dead, no tear will fall for you.

It recalls me way back in last year, where i suffer from cellulitis.

Almost dying, vomit blood, fever for 1 months, can't even walk.

And the 1 i care , dint care for me as i expected.

I really wondering if i pass away , will she care for me?

or even cry for me?

i doubt.

I cant really see the future of mine, where ideal family and career awaiting.

I cant imagine in 10years time, what will i become.

a successful person in career , with a lovely wife beside?

or a dead body chilling 6feets under with organic soils.

I doubt.

I can't sleep right now.

Thinking something out of my imaginations.

But even though i drink Chivas, I smoke Marlboro.

I behave like shit.

But the only thing i can think of is Jesus Christ.

Maybe i say this just to comfort myself, to make me feel better.

But its the only think i can think of when i almost dead.

Life is so blind, where people live selfishly, without realizing life is so short.

But from this i realized that, we should enjoy every moment of our life.

We don't know what will happen tomorrow.

Live with no regret.

[Rey words]