31.12.2008 Story of the year

Flashing back the moment, memory, tears, cheers, ups and downs.

Its been a year, since you're gone.

What i can remember for this whole year?

drink a lot of Chivas la, Smoke Marlboro la.

Can't sleep la, midnite go sunway la.

dint go any place for a real vacations.

erm...got la, earlier this year.

went sunway and PD for bbq section.

been organised a lot of party such a bbq la, gathering , dinner, steamboat, yam cha, and club.

juz a glance , a year is over.

still not gettin any...

haha..

life goes on, got to live on with PASSION!..

Life with no Regret !

countdown duno go where la...

lol

Happy New Year

Being a fool

Today,duno why.

suddenly realized im being a fool.

After for so long, i still being a fool.

Oh God, i can only blame myself.

Why do i have to feel this way?

If only i can change the way i think, then i will live happier, without worrying so much thing in my head.

Why the fuck i would like to care for you?

what the fuck is the way u treat me?

and what the fuck im being such a fool for you?

Would i be someone that cruel and cold to you?

I rather im the 1 who acting this way to you, so that i can feel happy, without worring you.

It's really a fucking day for me to send fucking sms, and fucking care and fucking waiting for your reply.

I'm fucking keep calling you, and fucking waiting for your call, but end up like this.

I wish i will never care for you again, so i can feel fucking better over this.

I fucking mad and frustrated for the fucking nice way i treat u, and this is the fucking way you treat me back.

I hope i can fucking forget about you, so that i wont fucking feel the pain again.

For the fucking pain i holding, juz because of you.

Fuck myself for fucking loving you.

and fuck myself for the fucking care i give to you.

Fuck

Dead Face of myself

01.12.08

Today visited a friend.

a friend that pass away due to cancer.

although not really close with him.

Or frank speak, i meet him for the 1st and lastime.

I duno him, he also duno me.

But i feel sympathy, that he has to go.

He cant fight it, cant help it.

Maybe God wan him back to heaven asap.

R.I.P

When i saw his face, duno why i saw my own images.

I saw my body lying in the coffin, where everyone sitting around and chatting.

Life is so meaningless.

How sad is it when no 1 really care about you.

Even if you're dead, no tear will fall for you.

It recalls me way back in last year, where i suffer from cellulitis.

Almost dying, vomit blood, fever for 1 months, can't even walk.

And the 1 i care , dint care for me as i expected.

I really wondering if i pass away , will she care for me?

or even cry for me?

i doubt.

I cant really see the future of mine, where ideal family and career awaiting.

I cant imagine in 10years time, what will i become.

a successful person in career , with a lovely wife beside?

or a dead body chilling 6feets under with organic soils.

I doubt.

I can't sleep right now.

Thinking something out of my imaginations.

But even though i drink Chivas, I smoke Marlboro.

I behave like shit.

But the only thing i can think of is Jesus Christ.

Maybe i say this just to comfort myself, to make me feel better.

But its the only think i can think of when i almost dead.

Life is so blind, where people live selfishly, without realizing life is so short.

But from this i realized that, we should enjoy every moment of our life.

We don't know what will happen tomorrow.

Live with no regret.

[Rey words]